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Nothing new has happened in the past few days since Friday...boredum has settled in as I get ready for my last week of summer government...I still have one more month after that though...and after this Friday, I don't know how I'll be able to see Lucien again...a month without him...email and calling him might do it but I don't think he'll be able to go a whole month like I could....hmmmmm

I just read my old friend's journal...she still cares even though I continue to date him...still I would like a little support from my first best friend I got when I moved here...

The only thing I have to worry about with Lucien is how hard he gives me hickey's....yes hickey's...and right now I'm trying to cover one on my neck that's huge...well my story...a few years ago before I moved to IL, I made this perfume that made people go insane...yes in that way...he smelled something while we were making out and so I pulled that out not thinking and sprayed some. He went crazy and wanted to "do" me right then and there...condom or no condom...I told him that was the only way we could do it is if he wore a condom...he agreed to it but the perfume drove him to it. It's not his fault...I shouldn't have sprayed it...I need to make more...heheeehhe

As usual....my friends online who use to be in the group have stop talking to me...I told Lucien about the incident on Thursday night. He didn't care about what she said. He's going to keep being friends with them no matter what. They are his friends outside of school like D&D. I can see his reasoning. I guess that explains why I love him.

I really miss him...he told me he loved me Thursday night...I never got the chance to tell him that I love him too...he's all I got now.

On 16:37:03 May 25 2007 wrote:



If you see this, remember to give Cassie her phone back! I mean it! DO NOT FORGET!



On 20:27:18 May 30 2007 firesstar wrote:



already did and we went to the movies



Who is 'we'?



And what is this rumor I'm hearing, from whom I will not say, that you are going to go out with Lucian? (sp, like I freakin' care).



On 21:32:39 Jun 06 2007 firesstar wrote:



You can't stop me from feeling the way I do and you can't stop him from feeling the way he does. srry....I think u know what's going on but what u heard hasn't happened yet...



On 20:11:44 Jun 14 2007 wrote:



I guess I can't stop you from remember he was also a little perverted freak. I've known him longer than you so I know a lot more than you do. Good guy or not can't change the fact that he tried to molest some of us. Going out with him, even thinking about letting him have a second chance is not an option for me. You're older than me, so I have no choice but to sit back and let you do what you want. But, you WILL NOT BRING HIM NEAR THE REST OF US. My friends safety from freaks like him is my priority. I will not stand by and let you put them in danger. Physical, mental or other, I won't have it. You keep on with this idea that he's changing colors, you're out. For good. I don't go back on my word for no one anymore. Got it? You can say all you want to try and convince me otherwise if you want, I'll read every word of it. But I swear you'll never get me to change my mind.



On 00:12:43 Jun 15 2007 firesstar wrote:



I know that's how you feel...and I honor that...you are the mother of the group and you have insincts about these things. He's already promised me not to go near the group like he has in the past...it's your desicion and if want to kick me out that's fine...I understand...just don't tell anyone else in the group...say I left for my own reasons...



On 00:43:17 Jun 15 2007 wrote:



You've made your desicion that I will not respect. If he changes for you, fine. Sorry, but you are no longer allowed, under my rule, to come near the group without just cause. I may or may not talk to you outside of class and such but ONLY after I've observed your attitude within school. Travis, Desmond and Andrew: They are acceptions simply because boys will be boys. But I swear if any of them take on any habits I disapprove of, you better be prepared to take the blame. Got it?



On 00:56:00 Jun 15 2007 firesstar wrote:



Why do those 3 have anything to do with this? I know you're banning me but are you banning Lucien too?



On 00:59:53 Jun 15 2007 wrote:



Luciun has always been banned. He'll never get off of that. So, think about it.



On 01:02:25 Jun 15 2007 firesstar wrote:



Since I'm with him I'm banned too...he said he was sorry for that...I know you don't think he has changed but he has showed me that he has...I know you'll never see it so I'll leave it at that...



On 01:05:15 Jun 15 2007 wrote:



I'm not gonna see changes in someone who has made wrong desicions. He made those decisions on his own, no one influenced him. He's the one at fault. Define changed. A drunken teenager influenced by his or her parents or siblings, family or friends, has the right to change. Someone who decides to molest people when we do none of the same, and then says he's changed is not changed. You can only change how influences affect you, not what you decided on your own to do.



On 01:08:51 Jun 15 2007 firesstar wrote:



I guess if that's how you feel...



On 01:14:18 Jun 15 2007 wrote:



Well, I have things I need to do now so, if you insist on bothering me now that we've sorted things out, I suggest you wait until I've come back online her. Don't call me though.



On 13:05:48 Jun 15 2007 firesstar wrote:



I do have one thing before I go...can I have my tarot card book back?



No, I'm gonna keep it forever and ever.



Joking. Yeah, you can have it back.



You just can't come up to the house and get it. With both my parents working, I'm not allowed to let people in the house.

She really banned me and him from the group...I guess I have to support her but after that its just me and him and no one else...

He said he loved me today...and I found out my best friend whom I said I would be with when she had her surgery...wants nothing to do with our realationship...I love him too and I've kept promises to the group...I guess I can't go back to them...I'll have to find a new group in the school...I respect them and I guess I have to go with what the group says...I'll have to leave again...

He definetly asked me out and I said yes of course...we were watching October Sky in our Enrichment class we started making out.....funny....he kept opening his eyes....i see his reasoning because people began to notice...

Everyone at my school has seen me with him and say you're a cute couple r u dating? We say no and they say u should. He's nervous about asking me out and everyone can tell. He might ask tomorrow.

Everyone has a person in their group whom everyone dislikes. I have a few in my group. Me and a friend and one of those dislikes went to see Pirates 3. I ended up giving him (the dislike) a ride home after the movies. Weeks went by and I never saw him again. Yesterday he shows up for summer enrichment (I have summer government and they offer summer enrichment at the same time). Today he confesses to me at one of our afternoon breaks that he likes me...a lot. Here's my confession...ever since that ride....I liked him a lot too. I've been crazy about him and it has drove my mind insane without him around. He hasn't asked me yet but I think he might tomorrow. I'm starting to get scared a little at the fact, not that he wants to ask me out...its the fact that when everyone in group finds out is what freaks me out the most...it won't be good if they find out.